


Under Pressure

by Lesserknownhero



Series: Exes and Ohs [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Brief mention of Carol Danvers, Bucky is embarrassed, Clint is barely here sorry, Deaf Clint Barton, Divorce, Dorks in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fake Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Finished, George Barnes is a jerk, Glasses Steve, Gossip, Homelessness, Lots of blushing, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Misunderstandings, Modern Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Natasha holds many grudges, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Rumors, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam lives for laughing at Steve, Spring Break, Steve has no game, fake exes, lots of embarrassment, lying, meet ugly, smut at the end, steve is hella clumsy, steve is so confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-01-01 01:00:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12145134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesserknownhero/pseuds/Lesserknownhero
Summary: Steve and Bucky both missing out on spring break for separate yet similar reasons. As two of the only people left on campus it isn't that surprising that they cross paths. What is surprising is the fallout that occurs after only one simple interaction.Or the one where Bucky is a semi-homeless college student telling lies to cover his shame and Steve gets a fake ex-boyfriend and a reputation for heartless hookups.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is another installment in the fake exes series! I apologize it's been so long. I have been in a terrible writing rut. This story is a little strange and I am taking some liberties with Bucky's homelessness. I hope you all enjoy it anyway.
> 
> Any mistakes you find are mine. All characters belong to their respective creators.

Steve was in a daze. 

He hadn’t left the house in four days and now that he was outside, the late evening sunset was blinding. His fingers were stained with paint, his hair was uncombed and he was wearing the same t-shirt and sweatpants he’d worn the day before. Getting changed had seemed too tedious after spending the last eleven hours alternating between naps, painting his final graduation piece and binging episodes of Sense8 on Netflix. 

 

Squinting in annoyance, he strode down the sidewalk towards his favorite bodega to refill his stock of junk food and caffeine. The neighborhood was pretty empty, most of the inhabitants gone to warmer climates for spring break. 

 

Steve couldn’t afford to go out of town for break. He had barely enough to get by on for the semester, working two jobs, at the  local diner and as a student aid in the art department. Peggy, Sam, Angie, and Riley had all gone to Florida for the week. Sam had made Steve promise that he would do at least one thing fun while they were gone instead of working himself stupid on his grad projects and shifts at the diner. 

 

Steve had reluctantly agreed and if the one thing fun was eating his weight in Oreos who was Sam to judge? Stepping into the corner store Steve waved hello to the middle aged woman working behind the counter and scratched the ears of Cheddar, the fat orange tabby that belonged to no one but was always in the store. 

 

Steve ambled down the aisles glancing at the variety of chips and snack cakes, unable to decide what to gorge on next. Two aisles over, standing in the canned goods section was another bleary eyed college student, his head down leaving only his longish brown hair and stunning profile visible.  

 

_ Shit. _

 

It was Bucky Barnes. The super hot engineering major from his math class. Steve had never spoken to Barnes but they had crossed paths a few times over the last few months. It was a case of having just enough friends and courses in common to be familiar with one another but not close enough to actually interact. 

 

That hadn’t stopped Steve from developing an embarrassingly large crush on the guy however. He was just so hot and he had a good laugh, one of Steve’s weaknesses. So Steve had pined his way through Calculus hoping to work up the nerve to do more than smile awkwardly whenever the guy happened to sit near him but he never had. 

 

Then the following semester they had been in a composition course together and Bucky had actually complimented Steve’s writing once which Steve had stupidly blushed at but still failed to work up the nerve to strike an actual conversation. And on and on it went. Bucky and Steve would cross paths with one another like ships passing in the night but never connecting. Steve had chalked it up as another missed opportunity, convinced he wouldn’t see Bucky again after they stopped sharing classes but apparently he’d been wrong. 

 

As if he could sense Steve’s awkward staring Bucky straightened from his hunch and began to turn Steve’s way.

 

Desperate not to be caught ogling the guy, Steve spun around only to run straight into a candy display sending bags of skittles and m&m's everywhere. 

 

+++++

 

Bucky was trying not to panic. He was down to his last thirty bucks and running on less than six hours of sleep. He had to make a decision about dinner soon so he would have time to cook it and eat before returning to the library. He had a work-study gig there while school was in session and luckily he still had his key card and could gain access to the building during regular hours but during the break he had to work around the custodian schedule to avoid getting locked out.

All of his friends and most of the students were gone for the week which made his overnight stays in the library far more suspicious. Something that would change drastically once faculty and the student body returned in less than 24 hours. He would be able to hide amongst the masses then, burning the midnight oil pouring over books instead of being the solitary soul lingering in the large building for a lack of anywhere else to go. 

 

He stood in the cheap corner grocery store and surveyed his options. He had eaten more canned ravioli in the last month than one man should in an entire lifetime. That left canned tuna (shudder), Campbell's soup, various flavor packages of ramen and canned fruit. Bucky grabbed a few of each and stood from his crouch to head to the register. 

 

In the few weeks of his  relative homelessness, he had become extremely sensitive to eyes on him and in that moment he knew he was being watched. Straightening to his full height, Bucky switched his groceries to his prosthetic hand and pushed back his hair with his right. Glancing out the corner of his eye, he glimpsed his observer. 

 

_ Fuck. _

 

It just had to be him. Steven ‘smile like the goddamn sun’ Rogers. If Nat were there she would be teasing him about the machinations of fate and cat calling the gorgeous blonde in an unsubtle attempt to embarrass Bucky. 

 

As it was, Bucky was embarrassing  _ himself _ by staring at the guy while he shopped. Ducking his head down again Bucky hustled towards the counter to pay only to bust out laughing when Rogers randomly slammed his enormous body into a candy display sending brightly colored packages everywhere. 

  
  


+++++

 

Steve wanted to kick his own ass.

 

It was a familiar feeling.

 

Steve had spent so much of his life as a skinny sickly kid that when he finally got the chance to be healthy, to grow and bulk up he’d had to learn and learn quickly how to control his much larger body. The learning curve was steep which meant clumsiness was a common theme in his adolescence and unfortunately it had followed him into adulthood.

 

After taking a series of calming breaths, he was  able to tamp down his embarrassment enough to crouch down and clean up his mess.

 

He scooped up the candy and returned it to the shelf only to see another set of hands doing the same. Glancing up from under his lashes, Steve caught a glimpse of Bucky up close. 

 

“You okay pal,” Bucky asked.

 

“Y-Yeah,” Steve said, “Just dead on my feet I guess.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Bucky said, “I’m so tired I don’t think I’m even human anymore.”

 

Steve chuckled and the two rose to their feet, clean up all finished. 

 

“College campuses. Ground zero for the zombie apocalypse, I could see it,” Steve joked.

 

Bucky laughed and was rewarded with one of Steve’s megawatt smiles. The two made their way to the checkout counter, Bucky holding a variety of canned goods and Steve’s favorite brand of ramen while Steve wasn’t carrying anything close to real food. Just two different bags of chips, an extra large package of beef jerky and a carton of cookies n cream ice cream on top. 

 

Both men sized up the other’s purchases with a mix of curiosity and embarrassment. 

 

“That’s quite the spread you’ve got there Rogers,” Bucky teased, “You’d think a guy with a body like yours would have a better handle on proper nutrition.”

 

Steve felt himself blush at the mention of how fit he was and Bucky looked like someone had just clocked him in the back of the head with a two by four, his eyes wide and his face red. 

 

“I mean, uhh-” Bucky stammered.

 

“Shut up Jerk,” Steve teased, “I’m on vacation.”

 

Bucky sagged in relief that Steve didn’t mention his clumsy attempts at conversation. 

 

“Whatever punk,” Bucky said, “You keep that diet up and you won’t have any teeth left to smile with at graduation.”

 

“Teeth or no teeth I am getting that diploma,” Steve said with a mock fierceness.

 

“I believe ya pal,” Bucky said with a smile. 

 

+++++

 

Bucky walked back to the library in a daze. His mind replaying his interaction with Steve over and over again as he walked. The guy wasn’t just gorgeous, he was also funny and friendly which just made it that much worse that Bucky had once again choked. He’d meant to ask Steve to hang out sometime but then his brain had reminded him of his lack of money or place to hang out in, and he’d frozen.  Again. 

 

He’d tried to ask out Steve one time before but then a brunette named Peggy had shown up, with her ample curves and soft british accent sweeping Steve away leaving Bucky mentally kicking himself over his lame offer to go for a coffee.  

 

Miserable and hungry, Bucky increased his pace back to the library and snuck in while the building’s cleaning crew was unloading their gear. 

 

He had a pretty serviceable setup going in the library. The blankets and sleeping bag he was using as bedding were stored in his employee locker during the day and the emergency lanterns served as his overnight lighting once the building was locked for the night. He used the break room kitchenette to cook and eat his meals. 

 

There was a level of shame and guilt as he rinsed his bowl and put it back in the communal cupboard but he pushed it down. He was only a short six weeks from graduation. He promised himself that when he did graduate and if he was able to get out from under his immense school debt, he’d repay the school somehow. Maybe make one of those alumni donations he was always hearing about. 

 

As he settled into his bedroll he pulled out his textbook and started on some of his readings. About two pages in his fell asleep, 

+++++

The building maintenance crew came at seven am to start turning everything back on and waking the building up for use to begin at eight. Bucky had already been awake for half an hour and slipped out the side entrance as soon as he could. 

 

The student cafeteria wasn’t open for the week so he scrounged up some change and went to the local diner to get a mug of coffee. 

 

Bucky was sitting in his favorite booth near the windows people watching and sipping his third free refill when his cell phone rang. 

 

“H’lo,” Bucky said ignoring the way his empty stomach rumbled.

 

“Hello James,” Nat said, “Miss me?”

 

Bucky laughed. Only his best friend could inject amusement, judgement and concern into four little words. Truth be told he had missed her but he wouldn’t tell her that. It would only worry her and with his current situation so precarious, he couldn’t afford to let her know anything was wrong. 

 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you,” he teased. 

 

“I’ll tell you what I like,” Nat teased back.

 

“Please don’t,” Bucky said, “My ears cannot handle such filth.”

 

“I was going to say a hot shower and a nap in my own bed dirty boy,” She said mock offended, “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

 

Bucky laughed. It was good to talk to his best friend again. It made him feel a little less alone. 

 

“Well I was going to ask if you were up to some company but if you’re going to nap-”

 

“Oh no,” Nat said brushing off his concern, “Come over. I have some funny stories to tell and I am dying to hear about your thrilling week.”

 

“Prepare to be disappointed,” he said dryly.

 

Natasha laughed and Bucky did too. 

 

“Just get over here drama queen,” she told him. 

 

“On my way Princess,” he said. 

+++++

“You did what,” Nat asked, her voice deadly soft.

 

“It’s not a big deal,” Bucky said feigning calm. 

 

“Not a big deal,” she asked, “James do I need to remind you that he’s your ex? An ex that  brutally broke your heart via text a few months ago? How is hooking up with him not a big deal?”

 

Bucky felt a swell of guilt rise in chest. The feeling made his stomach knot and his hands sweat. He rubbed his palms on his jeans and faked a smile. It was hard lying to his best friend and the longer he had to lie to her the worse it felt. Closing his eyes he rubbed his forehead with his finger tips and tried to remember how he’d gotten himself into this mess. 

 

It had all started three months earlier. Bucky had been starting his final semester of college and was looking ahead to applying for jobs and internships after graduating. Then his mother had called. She and her father were divorcing. He had met someone else and was cutting ties with Winnie and the kids. Winnie had been devastated and even worse had no idea how she was going to support Bucky’s younger sisters and herself. Which was bad enough but then Bucky had received the final blow. George was no longer paying for Bucky’s schooling. 

 

Angry and hurt Bucky had stood in his apartment and raged at his father. Calling him a coward, a liar and cursed the man to hell and back multiple times. Bucky had been in tears when Nat had arrived for their customary Netflix, study, and platonic chill session. Too proud, ashamed, and scared Bucky hadn’t been willing to share with her what had happened or ask for help.

 

As time went on and she pressed for answers about why he was suddenly depressed, less willing to hang out, and why he had to save every penny, he’d panicked. So he made up a fake boyfriend and then ended the fake relationship claiming that his boyfriend had broken his heart. 

 

Who did he choose as his fake ex-boyfriend?

 

None other than his super secret crush, Steve.

 

Nat had been furious. She had been shocked that Bucky had managed to hide a relationship from her and then pissed that the guy had been such a colossal jerk to Bucky. She’d wanted to call Steve up herself and read him the riot act but Bucky had refused claiming he just wanted to put the whole situation behind him. 

 

Nat hadn’t wanted to agree but in the end she had in order to help Bucky feel better. He had then set out to find another job to  attempt to cover the cost of school himself but he’d only been slightly successful. He had been too late to apply for loans so he got a payment plan for his courses but he’d had to give up his off campus apartment. Which was how he’d ended up living at one of his jobs at the library. 

  
  


“James,” Nat said pulling him back to the present, “You deserve better. I know you have a hard time remembering that but you do. Steve isn’t good for you.”

 

Bucky thought back to Thursday when he and Steve had bumped into one another. He had been so nice, friendly and sweet just like every other time Bucky had seen him. He didn’t deserve Bucky trashing him like this or Nat’s anger. 

 

“He’s not a bad guy,” Bucky argued lamely.

 

“Bucky I saw how wrecked you were after he ended things,” Nat said gently, “He hurt you so badly and you don’t owe him anything. Especially not your body.”

 

Bucky blushed. 

 

“Can we-Can we talk about something else,” he asked.

 

Nat frowned for a moment then nodded and reached over to pull him into a hug.

 

“My poor baby,” she cooed teasingly, “I just want you to know I care about you.”

 

He struggled when she intentionally smothered his face into her ample chest. She laughed and then began shrieking with laughter when he began tickling her when he got free of her embrace. They wrestled around for a while before finally calling truce and settling in to study. 

 

+++++

Steve was so confused. 

 

He and  his best friend Sam were sitting in his livingroom sharing a pizza and catching up after a week apart. It had started off fun, Sam sharing tales of Riley’s epic sunburn and Peggy’s disastrous first experience with tequila sunrises. Then things had taken a turn for the weird. Sam had come home the day before and met up with some of his classmates to discuss their public speaking projects which Steve, who was deathly afraid of public speaking, thankfully had nothing to do with. 

 

Or so he had thought. Apparently some of Sam’s Poli-Sci friends were friends with the Science and Engineering majors. Which again lead to a weird overlap in friendship circles and an increase in gossip and drama. Drama Steve seemed to be the unwitting center of.

 

“He-he told her that?” Steve stammered, “Natasha, I mean. Bucky told her that we hooked up?”

 

Steve was struggling. He was embarrassed, he was confused, and there were too many new names to keep straight. Not to mention he was distracted as his mind kept trying to put faces to the names of people who apparently now hated him for doing something he didn’t do. Granted some of them sounded familiar and as soon as Sam left Steve planned to do some  _ heavy  _  investigating but first Sam had to leave. 

 

So Steve had to focus. 

 

“Well yeah. She’s his best friend, they’re practically siblings they’re so close.”

 

“Yeah I know that,” Steve lied, “I just didn’t expect him to-It’s just this is so-”

 

“Why are you being so weird right now?” Sam asked. 

 

Steve was blushing. He could feel his cheeks, ears and neck burning with it. The idea that he and Bucky had hooked up was both exciting and laughable. He could barely talk to the guy without stammering and now people thought they’d had a one night stand? It didn’t make sense. 

 

“Because this is weird!” Steve said far too loudly, then he sighed, “Come on Sam, it’s awkward isn’t it? Me and you sitting here talking about everyone who knows the nitty gritty details of me having sex two nights ago. People don’t normally do this.”

 

“Actually I think people do this all the time. Best friends share Steve.”

 

“ _ We  _ don’t _. _ ” Steve reminded him. 

 

“Because you asked me to stop,” Sam pointed out.

 

“That’s right. I did,” Steve agreed, “And this isn’t an invitation to start again either.”

 

Sam laughed then shot Steve a wink. Steve pretended to gag then dodged the pillow Sam threw at his face. 

 

“Speaking of sharing,” Sam said when they’d both calmed, “How come you never told me?”

 

“Told you what,” Steve asked.

 

“About you and Barnes,” Sam said giving Steve a shove, “I knew you were into him but I didn’t think you had done anything about it.”

 

Steve shrugged helplessly. 

 

“Though I gotta say,” Sam continued, “I didn’t think you were the type to break up via text... That’s kinda cold don’t you think?”

 

Steve had so many questions and he was hurt. He was starting to piece together what was going on. Bucky, for whatever reason, told Natasha that they used to date and that they had hooked up again randomly over spring break. Steve wanted to call Bucky and ask why, what was he using Steve to cover for  and why hadn’t he told Steve. Also what has Steve done to him to make him paint him as such an  _ asshole _ ? 

 

“Steve,” Sam said trying to pull his friend back into the conversation, “Steve you okay man?”

 

“S-Sorry Sam,” Steve said,pushing the issue with Buck to the back burner, “Let’s talk about something else okay? Have you asked Riley about moving in together after graduation yet?”

 

Steve smiled as his friend groaned and blushed. Sam and Riley were perfect for each other and Steve couldn’t be happier for his friend. He was almost positive that Riley was going to say yes but Sam was nervous so Steve spent the rest of the afternoon mentally plotting his next move and hyping Sam up for taking the next step with his boyfriend. 

 

+++++

Steve got the opportunity for answers three days later. He was working an afternoon shift at the diner when he saw  Bucky come in. Angie served him a single mug of black coffee and he held it between his hands as he stared absently out the window. Steve had spent the hours he was there working his section and staring at Bucky trying to figure out how to approach him. 

By the time it was time for Steve’s break he’d given up on ideas for tact and decided to just go for it.

 

Steve slid a plate onto the table then dropped down into the booth across from Bucky. His hands were shaking a little so he placed them in his lap before leaning forward and drawing the other man’s attention. Bucky looked up from his book, surprise widening his grey blue eyes and Steve’s fingers itched with the need to brush back the lock of hair that had fallen onto Bucky’s forehead. 

 

“Hey,” Bucky said surprised. 

 

“Hi,” Steve said.

 

They stared at each other for a beat. Bucky looked away first. The plate caught his attention and he slid it closer to himself. 

 

“What’s this?” he asked. 

 

“A turkey club,” Steve said absently.

 

“I didn’t order a turkey club.”

 

“I know,” Steve said, “You ordered a black coffee two hours ago and now it’s gone cold because you’ve neglected to actually drink it.”

 

Bucky glanced at the mug sitting on the table and touched it with the back of his flesh and blood hand. It was cold. He frowned and looked back at Steve. The blonde was just too good looking, it wasn't fair. He was wearing a grey henley with the sleeves rolled up his forearms, faded blue jeans, and a white apron tied around his trim waist. 

 

Bucky felt like a slob in his grubby hoodie and tried not to wince when he realized he was wearing all black from head to toe. Again. 

 

“So I think we need to talk,” Steve said interrupting his thoughts.

 

“Umm, okay?”

 

“About what happened last Thursday,” Steve continued, “Or rather, what didn’t happen as it were.”

 

Bucky had taken a bite of the sandwich. It was good, the bread toasted, just the right amount of mayo, and crispy bacon. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he’d swallowed the first bite and gone back in for another which promptly got stuck in his throat. 

 

“Who told you,” Bucky asked.

 

“Who told me what? That last Thursday I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend  whom I haven’t spoken to after brutally dumping him via text 3 months ago,” Steve asked sarcastically, “Well if you must know, Sam told me. He learned about it from Jane and Darcy who got texts about it from Tony who overheard his roommates Clint and Bruce who had the displeasure of listening to a rage rant on the topic from your best friend Natasha.”

 

Steve paused and took a bite of his own sandwich. Chewing quickly while watching Bucky’s face turn a surprisingly adorable shade of pink. He coughed for a bit and Steve slid his glass of water over so Bucky could take a drink. 

 

“I think I got all the names right,” Steve said, “though please do correct me if I missed anyone.”

 

“I am  _ so sorry _ ,” Bucky said softly.

 

He was looking at the remains of his sandwich sitting on the plate. His appetite was gone, leaving a guilty queasiness in its wake. Curling his shoulders inward he felt himself on the verge of a panic attack as he waited for Steve to explode at him. It was completely justified after what Bucky had done and while he dreaded it, he understood. Steve took a deep breath and Bucky flinched only to relax when Steve let it out in a heavy sigh. 

 

“For which part?” Steve asked, “Though I gotta say, I think the breakup via text is the worst bit. I would never.”

 

“Steve.”

 

“It’s so cruel. I mean you’ve got feelings and obviously so do I but that is just more reason to meet face to face. Even if you’re too mad or I’m too hurt or whatever. I need you to know I would never do that.  ”

 

“Steve! We never actually dated pal.”

 

“I  _ know that _ Buck,” Steve said, “I’m just saying, did you have to make me out to be such an  _ asshole _ ?”

 

“I’m  _ sorry, _ ” Bucky said again.

 

“Why me though? Did I do something to wrong you somehow? Though I can’t imagine what it would be seeing as how this is the longest conversation you and I ever had.” Steve said.

 

“Look,” Bucky said running his fingers through his hair, “I know it’s not an excuse but I panicked. I panicked and threw you under the bus.”

 

Steve sat back and waited for the rest, his arms crossed over his broad chest. When Bucky hesitated, Steve raised an eyebrow but Bucky looked away. Steve kicked his shin lightly under the table. Bucky drained the rest of the glass of water. 

 

“Panicked about what Bucky?” Steve prompted. 

 

“It’s a long story,” Bucky said finally. 

 

“Sorry to break up the fun boys but,” Angie said approaching the table her hands on her hips, “break time’s over and I’ve gotta run or I won’t make my audition.”

 

Steve sprang up from his seat and apologized.

 

“So sorry Angie,” he said, “Lost track of time. You can get going now if you need to. I’ve got this.”

 

The diner was pretty dead and Steve was confident it would stay that way until later. Midweek was usually pretty quiet especially since people were just settling back in after spring break.”

 

“Thanks sweets,” Angie said, pecking him on the cheek as she slid out of her apron, “I owe you one.”

 

“Knock em dead,” Steve said kissing her cheek in return. 

 

With a final wave, Angie slid out of the diner and into the late afternoon sun. Steve watched her go then began clearing Bucky’s table. 

 

“I’d still like an explanation,” he said, shooting Bucky a look.

 

“I know,” Bucky said softly, “And I’ll give you one. It’s just-It’s a long story.”

 

“I’m off at four,” Steve offered.

 

“I’ll be at the library then,” Bucky said.

 

Steve stood up, his arms full of dirty plates and cups. He came to a decision and nodded to Bucky. 

 

“I’ll meet you there around four-thirty.” he said. 

 

Bucky swallowed heavily and nodded then put his payment on the table and fled the diner. Steve went back to work but his mind was on Bucky. He had looked understandably guilty when Steve had asked for an explanation but when Steve had proposed meeting in the library Bucky had looked uncomfortable, almost scared somehow. Shaking his head, Steve pushed the thoughts aside and focused on finishing his shift.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes clean to Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is shorter than the first. I just wanted to get something up so I didn't lose momentum and not finish this fic.  
> There is a LOT of dialogue in this chapter and not much else. I apologize but this makes way for the good stuff which I promise is coming soon. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine. If you spot any please let me know!

Bucky was waiting for Steve towards the back of the library. There were rows and rows of work tables spread out over the large space and he had chosen one in a corner. Likely to avoid being overheard by prying ears. Steve made his way to him, his messenger bag bumping his hip as he walked.

 

There were pockets of other students working but no one Steve recognized and he found himself feeling glad for it. Not that he was embarrassed to be seen with Bucky, he wasn’t, he just didn’t want anymore people to hear what was going on and get the wrong idea about him.

 

Bucky was looking down, his attention on the books laid out before him. Steve watched him work as he approached, the way Bucky’s long brown hair kept falling into his eyes as he bent to his work, the way his metal prosthetic gleamed in the light as he pushed his hair back behind his ears, and how his teeth sank into his lower lip when he caught sight of Steve.

 

“Hey,” Steve said when he was close enough.

 

“Hi,” Bucky said softly, “You uh, you wanna sit down?”

 

He began clearing space on the table so Steve could set his stuff down and Steve nodded as he sank into the seat across from him.

 

For a few moments neither of them spoke.

 

Steve wanted an explanation.

 

Bucky wanted to crawl under the table and dissolve into an embarrassed, regret filled puddle.

 

Instead he took a deep breath and stuck both hands in his hair as he stared down at the scattered mess of his study notes and tried to gather his thoughts. The whole situation was uncomfortable and entirely his fault. He tried to swallow down the roiling mass of guilt, fear, and embarrassment but it wouldn’t pass and now he felt like he might cry. Clenching his fists in his lap Bucky took a deep breath.

 

“Are you okay,” Steve asked, his voice soft.

 

“What?”

 

Bucky looked up and saw that Steve had leaned forward in his seat, his blue eyes wide and concerned as he watched Bucky.

 

“I know I said I wanted answers Buck and I _do_ but-” Steve said, “It can wait. If you need to that is.”

 

“No.” Bucky said.

 

“No?”

 

“No,” Bucky repeated, “I owe you an explanation and if I don’t get it out now I probably never will.”

 

Steve nodded and then took a look around.

 

“You sure you want to do this here,” he asked.

 

“Don’t have much choice,” Bucky said darkly.

 

“What does that mean,” Steve asked, “We can leave if you want. Go somewhere less public.”

 

Bucky sighed and held up a hand asking Steve to stop talking for a minute.

 

“Steve look,” Bucky said, “You’ve got questions. I get that and I am going to try to answer them I promise. It’s just-I need you to-Will you let me tell you what’s going on first? Just let me say what I gotta say and then you can still ask me whatever. If you still want to.”

 

Steve nodded and sat back in his seat his arms folded across his broad chest. Bucky nodded too and raked his fingers through his hair again while wondering where to start.

 

 _Might as well start at the beginning idiot._ He thought. _This is already a shitshow. Telling the truth is hardly going to make it worse._

 

Bucky’s eyes were glued to his lap as he began.

 

He told Steve about his dad. The affair, the divorce, the way the asshole was basically leaving his family high and dry to start over with a woman twelve years younger.

 

Steve opened his mouth like he wanted to say something. Probably heartfelt condolences if the sincere look on his face was anything to go by. Bucky had shook his head and Steve had closed his mouth. Bucky kept talking.

 

“So he took everything and left,” Bucky said, his voice bitter and hard, “And when I confronted him about it, he gave me some half-assed story about how he’s felt unsatisfied for a long time and-” Bucky cut himself off waving a hand between them as if erasing what he’d just said.

 

“You don’t need to hear all that,” Bucky continued, “The point is, he cut us off. No money for the family to live on and no money for my tuition.”

 

“Bastard,” Steve said harshly.

 

Bucky felt himself smile a little.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, “So I was up shit’s creek and had to hustle to get myself on a payment plan to stay enrolled. I managed but lost my apartment in the process. Tasha came over while I was on the phone with George-”

 

“George?”

 

“My dad,” Bucky clarified.

 

“Oh. The heartless bastard. Right,” Steve said.

 

Bucky grinned at Steve’s anger on his behalf. It was sweet in a demented sort of way. Plus Steve was pretty cute when he was mad. His jaw stood out a little more and his cheeks darkened to a warm rose color making the blue in his eyes look even bluer. Bucky shook away the thought and got back to his story.

 

“So Nat witnessed me having an epic meltdown as my life took a dive and when she asked what was going on-well-I was ashamed. She comes from this great family, like Norman Rockwell great. The money, the status, the works. They’ve always been nice to me, Nat’s family but well I’m her _poor_ friend. It was bad enough when I had my accident and lost my arm. I had to endure months of being coddled, being a charity case, and I hated it. I didn’t want to go through that again.  I didn’t think she’d understand. Well that’s not true, she’d understand but I didn’t want her to pity me you know?”

 

Steve thought back to his childhood. The one bedroom apartment he and his mother had shared. The constant illness plaguing his frail body before he was able to get the right combination of medications and nutrition to finally grow and get healthy. He remembered the looks his classmates had given him. The sad eyed gazes from doctors and neighbors. He knew what being pitied felt like and understood the impulse to hide.

 

He nodded at Bucky and gave his flesh and blood forearm a squeeze.

 

“So I lied,” Bucky said, “I blamed it on a bad breakup. Except I wasn’t seeing anyone so I had to lie about that too and it just got way out of hand.”

 

“Why me though,” Steve interjected.

 

Bucky hesitated.

It would be so easy. He was already telling the truth about everything else. He could just admit his crush on Steve. Make it seem like no big deal, a thing of the past. Maybe they’d even laugh about it.

 

Bucky looked at Steve.  He was being so good about all this, understanding and even upset that Bucky was having a hard time. It made it _really hard_ to imagine passing off his crush on Steve as some insignificant thing. Especially since he definitely wasn’t over it.

 

“I picked you because she doesn’t know you,” Bucky half lied, “I figured it would blow over quickly and it would never actually affect you. Except I should’ve remembered that Nat is notorious for holding grudges and is a super spy when she wants to find someone or information on someone.”

 

“Okay,” Steve said slowly, “So I was the convenient scapegoat. That’s, well, not great, but understandable considering the situation you were in. That doesn’t explain how-”

 

“We had sex last thursday,” Bucky said.

 

“Only we didn’t,” Steve said giving him a look that clearly said _keep your voice down_.

 

Two tables over a pair of girls looked up from their studies and shot Steve and Bucky an interested glance. Steve blushed and looked away. Bucky reached across the table to grab Steve’s hand in his own before shooting the girls a wink. They smirked and rolled their eyes then went back to studying. Steve kicked Bucky under the table and Bucky took back his hand.

 

“Will you cut it out,” Steve asked, not mad but embarrassed and blushing.

 

“Right. Sorry,” Bucky said, “As I was saying, I threw you under the bus, and Nat vowed to find and destroy you. Shortly after that midterms happened so she seemed to drop it. Then spring break came and everyone left but me which was _fine_.”

 

“Except it was lonely, boring, and sucked,” Steve said thinking about his own spring break which mirrored Bucky’s in some significant ways.

 

“What,” Bucky asked.

 

“Nevermind. Sorry” Steve said, “Please continue.”

 

“So, yeah,” Bucky said, “Everyone got back and shared their epic break stories. I had nothing. Nat pushed and I admitted that I saw you. That’s what I said. I saw you on thursday. She took it to be something else, that we hooked up. At first I didn’t see the problem. My going out with a guy for a night sounds way better than I ran into a former classmate at the bodega then ate Chef Boyardee alone so I let her believe it. Then I remembered her deep seated hatred of you and well.”

 

“It was too late,” Steve said.

 

“It was too late,” Bucky agreed.

 

“Wow,” Steve said running his fingers through his hair, “That’s a lot to take in.”  


“For what it’s worth,”Bucky said, “I am really _really_  sorry.”

 

Steve rubbed the heels over his eyes while he tried to gather his thoughts. He should be mad. Furious even. Bucky used him and made him out to be the bad guy for no reason other than convenience. Still Steve couldn't seem to find the righteous anger that was his usual calling card. Maybe it was his crush, maybe it was sympathy for a fellow student who was struggling. Either way all Steve felt was a need to help. Annoyed with himself but resigned he dropped his hands into his lap and pinned Bucky to his seat with a firm look.

 

“Now that I’ve got the full story I’d like to say a few things,” Steve said, “One, you’ve _got_ to stop lying to your friends. Especially about me please.”

 

“I’m _sorry.”_

 

“Two,” Steve continued, “I think you should tell Natasha the truth. I’m not going to out you-”

 

“You’re not?” Bucky asked.

 

“Buck,” Steve said slightly annoyed, “I let you talk and now it’s my turn.”

 

“Right, Right. Sorry.”

 

“Stop apologizing,” Steve said, “I am not going to expose you to your friends but I would appreciate it if you found a way to fix this. I really don’t want the whole campus to think I am some sort of heartless d-bag.”

 

Bucky nodded.

 

“Good,” Steve said, “So I have one last question.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Where are you sleeping,” Steve asked.

 

“Excuse me,” Bucky asked, “I thought we just cleared up that we _aren’t_ sleeping together.”

 

Steve’s pink face seemed to get a little pinker as he held up a hand.

 

“No,” he said, “That’s not what I meant you jerk. I was just wondering, because you mentioned you lost your apartment, where you’ve been staying.”

 

Bucky shut down then. His smile fell from his face and his eyes returned to his lap.

 

“I’m okay,” he lied, “I’ve got it sorted out.”

 

Steve wasn’t fooled.

 

“Buck,” he said.

 

“Steve leave it. Please?”

 

Steve sighed.

 

“Fine. Give me your phone.” Steve said.

 

Bucky pulled his cellphone from his back pocket, unlocked it and slid it across the table. Steve started entering in his phone number.

 

“I’m giving you my number,” he said, “If you need help-”

 

“Steve-”

 

“If you need help,” Steve repeated, “Text me. I’ve got a fold out couch and an understanding best friend for a roommate.”

 

“Are you serious,” Bucky said, “Here I thought you were going to kick my ass and instead you’re giving me your number.”

 

“I'm giving you my number so I can help you and I wasn’t going to kick your ass,” Steve said, “I mean I was hoping I wouldn’t have to kick your ass and luckily I don’t.”

 

“Like you could,” Bucky teased.

 

“Oh really," Steve asked his eye brow raised.

 

“ You wanna wrastle Stevie?” Bucky said putting on an obviously fake southern accent. 

 

"You wish," Steve said grinning.

 

"Yeah I do," Bucky said with a smile forgetting himself for a moment. 

 

 _Shit._ He immediately thought.  _You idiot you just gave yourself away!!_

 

 

Thinking quickly Bucky covered by playing it over the top. He winked and waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the blond while grinning. Luckily Steve was too busy fighting down another adorable blush to notice Bucky's momentary freakout. Instead he rolled his eyes and kicked at Bucky beneath the table. 

 

 "Oh my god you idiot just shut up," Steve said chuckling.

 

Steve sent himself a text from Bucky’s phone then handed it back to its owner. That done he leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair again. Before he could think of something else to say to stave off the growing awkward silence his stomach let out a growl.

 

Bucky chuckled.

 

“You hungry,” Steve asked after kicking Bucky in the shin again.

 

“I just admitted to eating canned ravioli for dinner to you,” Bucky said, “Of course I’m hungry.”

 

Steve stood and started gathering up his stuff.

 

“Let’s go,” he said.

 

Bucky hesitated and looked up at the big blond warily.

 

“Go where?”

 

“The theater department,” Steve said, “There’s student performances happening tonight.”

 

“So,” Bucky asked.

 

“So,” Steve said, “They’re offering free pizza to anyone willing to watch the freshman showcase.”

 

“Oh god,” Bucky said looking horrified.

 

“Free pizza Buck,” Steve reminded him, “All you can eat.”

 

Bucky stood and groaned as he started to clean up his stuff.

 

“I’m gonna eat until I puke,” he said.

 

“That’s the spirit,” Steve said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a chapter to the final count. I am not sure I'll need it but JIC. Chapter 3 will hopefully be up in the next day or so. Comments and Kudos are much appreciated! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve hang out.  
> The pining reaches new and slightly awkward heights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 3. I apologize for the wait between chapters. Not a lot happens in this chapter it is mostly fluff. Don't worry though the action is coming in chapter 4 and I promise that it will be up soon.

The student showcase was fun. Bucky ate too much, laughed too much and maybe fell a little bit more in love with Steve. Not that he’d admit that to anyone but the blond dork was just so...nice.

 

They’d arrived in time to get some of the pizza and found seats in the back of the auditorium. Steve had known a few of the people there including one of his best friends, Peggy. Who he introduced Bucky to.

 

“Steven Rogers,” she’d said, “I thought you weren’t coming.”

 

“Heya Pegs,” he’d said kissing her cheek, “Change of plans. This is my friend Bucky Barnes.”

 

Peggy had come forward and shook Bucky’s outstretched hand. A warm smile on her red lips.

 

“Pleasure to meet you,” she said smiling.

 

Then she turned back to Steve and gave him a stern look.

 

“You boys behave yourselves and make sure to clap extra loud for Angie. She’s nervous,” she said.

 

Steve grinned then leaned down and gave her another peck on the cheek before promising to do just that. When Peggy left to return to her post at the box office Steve and Bucky sank down into their seats and began to eat.

 

“She’s nice,” Bucky said, “She your girl or-”

 

Steve chuckled and then took a big bite while shaking his head.

 

“Nope,” he said, “We tried that once but well, we’re better off as friends.”

 

“Oh,” Bucky said, trying not to sound as relieved, as he felt.

 

After the shows ended Bucky and Steve made their way out of the building and into the night. Bucky pulled out his phone and checked the time. It was after 11 pm and he felt his stomach drop. The library was still open but not for much longer which would mean he had to hustle to get in before the door locked and if he snuck in now he’d likely be noticed.

 

Steve noticed the look on the Bucky’s face but decided to wait to see if Bucky said something. They started heading down the sidewalk towards the street. Neither of them owned a car so they bypassed the parking lot and after five minutes of awkward silence Steve couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“Do you want me to walk you back,” he asked.

 

Bucky stopped on the sidewalk and gave Steve a confused look.

 

“What,” he asked.

 

“You’re going back to the library right,” Steve asked, “I can walk you back. Or my offer of the foldout is still available if you’d prefer. We’re pretty close to my place and it’s getting kind of late.”

 

Bucky chuckled and pushed his hair back from where it had fallen across his forehead.

 

“You’re not going to let this go Rogers are you,” he asked.

 

“Hey you can say no,” Steve said, “I am just trying to be nice.”

 

“ I know and honestly man I don’t get it,” Bucky said, “I’ve brought you nothing but trouble and you’re being so damn _good_ about it. It’s not normal. You should be pissed and kicking my ass or something.”

 

Steve sighed and started walking back toward his apartment. Thankfully Bucky fell into step beside him.

 

“That’s just not me,” Steve said, “Or-Well- Okay so it used to be me. I was really angry as a kid. I got into _a lot_ of stupid fights. If you’d pulled a stunt like the one you pulled three years ago? I definitely would’ve thrown down but I’d like to think I’ve matured some and also my ma always said that being kind to people when they’re down is the best thing a person can do. So here I am, trying to be kind. Can you just stop being a pain in the ass for five minutes and let me help you?”

 

They walked in silence for a few minutes and Bucky tried to come up with a suitable way of thanking Steve. The apartment was dark when they made it up the three flights of stairs and inside Steve and Sam’s two bedroom.

 

“I guess Sam isn’t home,” Steve said, “Not that he’d mind you being here, I just thought it would be good for him to meet you.”

 

Bucky was looking around the living room taking in Steve’s half finished paintings and Sam’s pile of textbooks on the coffee table. Steve went about setting up the foldout for Bucky, trying very hard not to think about the fact that he finally got Bucky to come stay the night but not for the reason he’d always wanted.

 

Shocked at his own wayward thoughts, Steve felt himself blush. Bucky was watching him when he straightened back to his full height, a curious lift to his eyebrows.

 

“You okay Stevie,” he asked, “You’re a little pink.”

 

‘I am not pink,” Steve lied uselessly, “I’m fine.”

 

He walked down the hall to get the spare pillow and blanket off his bed and was surprised when Bucky followed him.

 

Steve grabbed what he needed and turned to exit the room only to plow straight into Bucky who was standing in the middle of the room looking at Steve’s sketches that adorned the walls.

 

“Nice room,” Bucky said, “These are real nice Stevie, you do ‘em yourself?”

 

Steve swallowed heavily and forcefully pushed away the fantasies of Bucky and him doing something very different in this room that were burning through his head.

 

“Yeah,” he said softly, “That one is my ma.”

 

Bucky was looking at a large charcoal portrait Steve had done of Sarah his first year at college. It was a little rough in places but he thought he’d managed to capture the warmth in her eyes and the small smile she’d always worn, pretty well. Besides it was his ma, it wasn’t like he’d been able to throw it away.

 

“She’s real pretty,” Bucky said just as softly, “Looks like you. Bet she’s real proud.”

 

“I like to think she would be,” Steve said, “She passed a few years ago.”

 

“Shit I’m sorry pal,” Bucky said squeezing Steve’s shoulder gently.

 

“It’s okay,” Steve said, “I mean I still miss her but it’s nice talking about her too.”

 

Bucky nodded and reached for the stuff in Steve’s hands and the blond handed it over then shepherded Bucky out of his room. As they walked down the hall he pointed out the bathroom and Sam’s room.

 

“Don’t go in there,” Steve said.

 

“Why would I go in there?” Bucky asked confused.

 

“I don’t know. Just don’t.”

 

“Yes ma,” Bucky said.

 

“Oh my god,” Steve said exasperated, “Just shut up. Help yourself to whatever in the kitchen but double check the expiration dates. I can’t guarantee the safety of anything in there.”

 

Bucky laughed and Steve shrugged his shoulders then he laughed too.

 

“So good night,” Steve finished.

 

Bucky flopped down on the foldout and bit back a moan. It wasn’t a five star hotel bed but it was far better than the sleeping bag and bedroll he’d been using at the library. Steve was looking down at him strangely and Bucky realized he might not have been as successful as he’d hoped keeping his face neutral.

 

Desperate to alleviate the sudden awkwardness he made a joke.

 

“What you’re not going to tuck me in? No goodnight kiss?” he teased.

 

“Sure,” Steve said with a smile.

 

 _Holy shit!_ Bucky thought. _Is he really gonna kiss me?_

 

Steve leaned down and Bucky’s stomach quivered in anticipation as the blond got closer. His eyes were so blue and as his mouth got closer Bucky felt himself lick his lips in response.

 

At the last second Steve pulled the pillow out from under Bucky’s head and whacked him across the face with it.

 

“Goodnight jerk,” he said grinning as Bucky squawked indignantly.

 

He was laughing as he backed out of Bucky’s reach. The brunet was swinging the pillow wildly trying to hit Steve in retaliation.

 

“Good night you little punk,” Bucky said laughing, “Sleep with one eye open.”

 

Steve kept laughing as he waved off Bucky’s threat and walked down the hall to his room.

 

Once he was alone again he stopped laughing and pressed his palm to his chest feeling the racing of his heart. He’d been so close. Bucky lying there looking up at him had felt so...right. It was almost as if he’d wanted Steve to kiss him.

 

 _But that couldn’t be right._ Steve thought. _Could it?_

 

Steve rubbed his eyes and refocused on getting himself ready for bed. He went to the bathroom, took out his contacts and brushed his teeth then went back into his room only shutting the door partway in case Bucky needed him.

 

Stripping down to just his boxers he slipped into bed and fell right to sleep.

 

+++++

 

Bucky woke up at ten minutes to seven. Just like he had every morning since he’d started sleeping at the library. For a moment he had been worried he’d be discovered and started only to get up and remember that he wasn’t in the library. He was at _Steve Roger’s_ house. The guy he had a crush on. The guy whose reputation he’d nearly ruined just to save his own.

With an annoyed groan Bucky had gotten up and started straightening up the foldout. He was grateful for Steve’s kindness and wasn’t about to overstay his welcome.

 

After getting the couch in order Bucky folded the blanket and grabbed the pillow Steve had borrowed him. He was pretty sure he’d heard Steve’s alarm go off so he would just go return the bedding, say thank you and goodbye then bounce.

 

The school cafeteria was open really early and while the coffee they served was swill it was cheap and Bucky could sit there for the at least half of the 3 hours he had to kill before class without being harassed.

Plan in mind Bucky made his way down the hall to Steve’s room. The door was partially open and Bucky rapped his knuckles against it lightly. Steve grunted lightly which Bucky took for a sleepy come in and entered only to instantly regret it.

 

Steve was not awake.

 

No he was curled on his side, back to the door and snoring slightly fast asleep. Bucky stood frozen in the doorway unsure of what to do. He could just leave he reasoned, drop the bedding beside the bed and leave. Pretend he never glimpsed Steve’s broad shoulders lightly dusted with freckles and rippling with muscle. Ignore the firm tug of want in his chest and head to the cafeteria. On the other hand, Steve’s alarm _had_ gone off. Bucky didn’t want the guy to oversleep and miss class especially since it was partly his fault Steve had been out late the night before.

Making up his mind to do the right thing and at least check in with Steve, Bucky approached the bed.

 

 _Don’t be weird about this_ he told himself sternly. _Wake him up, make sure he knows the time, say thank you and leave._ **_Don’t stare_ ** _._

 

“Steve,” Bucky said, “Steve buddy, it’s about 7:15. Do you got class?”

 

Steve mumbled and flapped an arm at Bucky though whether he was shooing him away or beckoning him closer was unclear.

 

“Is that a yes or a no pal?” Bucky asked.

 

Steve grumbled again and pulled the blanket up a little higher though it dropped back down instantly. Bucky was torn between feeling fond and exasperated. The fond feeling was dangerous so he pushed it away and reached down to grip Steve’s shoulder. His firm skinned, sleep warm shoulder with its adorable freckles.

 

_Damn it._

 

“C’mon Stevie just wake up for a minute,” Bucky said giving him a gentle shake.

 

Steve rolled over and blinked blearily up at Bucky.

 

“Wha-” he said, his voice hoarse with sleep, “You need me for something Buck?”

 

 _That really shouldn’t be as attractive as it is_. Bucky thought.

 

The thoughts just fled Bucky’s head as he got a glimpse of Steve’s shirtless torso and the faint trail of blond hair below his belly button.

 

 _Please have pants on._ Bucky thought hysterically.

 

“Um, I just wanted to,” Bucky said trying to get his thoughts together and his eyes off Steve’s abs, “Uh.”

 

He held up the pillow and blanket for Steve to see.

 

“Oh, of course Buck,” Steve said, “Plenty of room.”

 

Steve scooted back towards the wall leaving space in front of him on the mattress and lifted the blanket allowing Bucky to see that he wasn’t wearing pants but a pair of skimpy black boxer briefs.

 

 _I’m going to hell_. Bucky thought.

 

“What,” Bucky asked.

 

“C’mon,’ Steve said wrapping his large hand around Bucky’s wrist and gently tugging, “Still time to sleep. No class for hours yet.”

 

His voice was still rough and his words were sliding together. Bucky realized Steve was still at least fifty percent asleep even as he spoke. Steve tugged a bit harder pulling Bucky off balance and onto the bed beside him. After arranging Bucky into being the smaller spoon Steve settled down with a sigh, then he covered them both with the large comforter before he curled his body around Bucky.

 

“Steve what-”

 

“Shhh,” Steve said his breath warm on the nape of Bucky’s neck, “Two more hours then we’ll get up.”

 

A heavy arm slung across Bucky’s middle and Bucky felt himself yawn.

 

 _I should get up._ Bucky thought. _He doesn’t know what he’s doing. I shouldn’t take advantage._

 

Bucky yawned again. The bed was warm and Steve’s arm around his waist was grounding in a way Bucky hadn’t realized he’d needed. Before he could get his body in motion to get out of bed he was asleep.

 

+++++

Steve’s alarm was a cheerful, instrumental version of “Here Comes the Sun”. Bucky rolled his eyes when he heard it.

 

 _What a dork._ He thought.

 

Steve stretched his arm out from under the blankets to snag his phone. The motion brought him closer to Bucky who was now laying on his back staring at the ceiling. Propped up on his elbow, his upper body draped across Bucky’s Steve looked down and seemed to finally realized he wasn’t alone in the bed.

 

He panicked.

 

“What the fuck,” he whispered staring.

 

“Mornin pal,” Bucky said grinning, “We should probably talk.”

 

“Oh my god,” Steve said.

 

He grabbed his phone and glasses then pulled away from Bucky and sat with his back against the wall. He put his glasses on and silenced his phone before turned his horrified gaze on Bucky. 

 

“Oh geez,” Bucky said holding up a hand, “Relax. Nothing happened.”

 

Steve was already blushing. The pink shade dusted his cheeks and ran down his neck and turned his chest a soft rose. Bucky tore his eyes off the sight and tried to stay calm in the face of Steve in his thick framed glasses. It was really hard because Steve looked really, really good in those glasses. Bucky swallowed heavily and looked away, forcing his eyes to roam the room and not stay glued to Steve's face the way they wanted to. 

 

“Oh,” Steve said, “Then how did you get..well...in bed with me?”

 

Bucky laughed.

 

“That was your fault,” he said glancing at Steve.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“It was,” Bucky said, “I heard your alarm and thought you were up so I came in to say goodbye and return your stuff but you were still snoozing. I was worried you’d overslept so I tried to wake ya and you pulled me in here with you.”

 

“Oh my god,” Steve said.

 

His skin turned even more pink and he looked down at his lap as he ran his fingers through his hair messing it up even more. After a deep breath he looked up again and gave Bucky the most apologetic look he could muster.

 

“I am _so sorry,”_ he said, “I don’t remember doing that at all but honestly it doesn’t surprise me.”

 

“It doesn’t?”

 

Steve chuckled.

 

“I should’ve warned you,” he said, “ I am not a morning person. Like _at all_ and sleepy Steve is a devious fucker. He is not to be trusted because he will do just about anything to get five more minutes. Including apparently dragging people into the bed with him.”

 

Bucky laughed and Steve laughed too.

 

“So yeah,” Steve said still embarrassed, “I’m sorry.”

 

“S’no problem Stevie,” Bucky said shrugging off the apology, “Apparently I needed the extra z’s.”

  


Steve smiled and then looked down at his phone. Plenty of time to dress and eat before class.

 

“Well okay then,” he said, “If you wanna give me a few minutes to get dressed we can go get breakfast before class.

 

“Yeah okay,” Bucky said sliding out of the bed.

 

“I’ll meet you in the living room,” Steve said.

 

Bucky nodded and headed out of the room closing the door behind him. Steve groaned softly and pressed his face into the bed. He wanted to die. He’d basically groped Bucky in his sleep and it clearly made the guy uncomfortable since he could barely look Steve in the eye the whole time they talked.

 

 _Great. Just when I thought things were getting better now he probably thinks I'm a creep._ Steve thought.

 

The bed smelled like the two of them. Soap and Steve’s shampoo mixed with the minty pine smell of Bucky. It made something in Steve’s chest ache so he pushed himself out of bed and into motion. Even though he wanted to help Bucky Barnes, Steve was beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t a good idea. Not because he was a bad guy but because Steve was having a hard time not crossing the line, not wanting more. Better to cut himself off completely before he made things worse. 

 

Dressed and ready for the day Steve walked out into the living room. Bucky was sitting on the couch, his hair falling into his eyes a little as he turned to look up at Steve.

 

“Ready to go pal?” Bucky asked a warm grin on his face.

 

 _I’m so fucked._ Steve thought.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> The final chapter is coming soon!  
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. You guys are the greatest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final chapter.  
> So sorry it took so long. Life happened and then NaNo happened and then I just got stuck with how to end this one. But here we are.  
> All mistakes are my own. Please tell me if you find some so I can hastily fix them.  
> All characters belong to their respective creators.

Breakfast was fun. They sat in the school cafeteria and ate both of them trying to fight off the lingering awkwardness with empty chatter about their upcoming finals and post graduation plans. They definitely _didn’t_ talk about the way they’d spent the last twelve hours attached at the hip or about how much they both secretly _loved it._

 

Then Steve had to leave for class and Bucky was left alone with his thoughts. His blonde haired, blue eyed, art dork with a dazzling grin thoughts. Sexy cuddling in bed in their underwear thoughts.  Bucky groaned heavily as he dropped his forehead onto the slightly sticky table in front of him.

 

“Dude that’s gross,” Clint said as he sank down across from Bucky at the table.

 

“Wha-” Bucky asked lifting his head.

 

“That table hasn’t been cleaned properly since before the great war and you just voluntarily put your face on it,” Clint said between bites of his breakfast burrito.

 

Bucky scowled and rubbed his hoodie sleeve against his forehead. Clint was known around campus as the human disaster so if he told you something was gross it was probably closer to toxic.

 

“Want some,” Clint asked nudging his plate toward Bucky.

 

“No thanks Barton,” Bucky said with a smile, “By the way you’ve got salsa on your chin.”

 

“Wanna lick it off for me?”

 

“In your dreams bird brain.”

 

Clint winked and Bucky threw a balled up napkin at his face.  

 

+++++++

Steve wanted to lay on the floor and die of embarrassment.

 

All the way to the art studio to work on his thesis, Steve replayed the events of the last 24 hours over and over again in his head.

 

Bucky’s smile, the warm uplift of his lips, the way his nose scrunched up and his eyes crinkling in the corners, it just stuck in his head like a song playing on repeat. Every time Steve pushed it away his mind replaced the image with reminders of just how right Bucky’s warm body had felt curled in Steve’s arms.

 

Then the guilt over manhandling Bucky and invading his space would rise up forcing Steve to close his eyes and shake away the memories.

And around and around it went until all he wanted to do was put his head in the pottery kiln.

 

“You okay man,” Sam asked breaking Steve out of his cycle.

 

“What,” Steve asked.

 

He was standing outside the Art building trying to decide if texting Bucky an apology was the right move or if pretending the whole thing never happened would work better. Sam should have been on his way to the Psychology building but instead he rose from his seat on the steps where he’d been waiting for Steve.

 

“I asked if you were okay,” Sam said, “I haven’t seen you think that hard since that time you lost the car after-”

 

“Lollapalooza,” Steve finished, “Are you ever going to let that go?”

 

“No I am not,” Sam said, “You had me walking around Grant Park for hours. _In the dark_ might I add.”

 

“I found the car eventually,” Steve argued.

 

“We could’ve been stabbed Steve.”

 

“But we weren’t,” Steve pointed out, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Can’t I just come see my best friend?”

 

“You’re supposed to be in class,” Steve said, “And we both know you’re being weird so just get on with it please.”

 

“Fine,” Sam said, “What’s going on with you and Barnes?”

 

“Who said anything is going on with me and Bucky?” Steve asked.

 

“Peggy. She told me she saw the two of you being and I quote ‘adorably chummy’ with one another last night at the student showcase.” Sam said using air quotes and a ridiculous accent when quoting Peggy.

 

“She’s exaggerating. Why were you talking to Peggy about me and Bucky,” Steve asked.

 

“Pegs has no reason to lie,” Sam countered, “What were you doing at the student showcase with your ex-boyfriend?”

 

“He’s not my ex-boyfriend,” Steve said automatically.

 

“Excuse me?” Sam asked.

 

 _Shit._ Steve thought.

 

“Sam do we _have_  to talk about this,” Steve asked, “It’s really complicated.”

 

“Yes we do and I don’t care,” Sam said.

 

“Fine,” Steve said resigned, “But not here.”

 

“Works for me. I have laundry to do anyway,” Sam said.

 

+++++++

 

Bucky’s lab course was just ending when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 

 **Nat:** Where are u? We need to talk.

 

Bucky stared down at his phone. His stomach sinking down towards his boots.

 

 **BB:** In the lab u ok?

 

 **Nat:** omw

 

The feeling of dread got worse as Bucky read his friend’s text. Natasha almost never came to the lab. She didn’t have anything against the Engineering department but as she put it ‘the potential for painful death and dismemberment in there is too high to risk it’ and honestly she wasn’t wrong. Between Tony’s experiments in body augmentation and flight and Bruce’s studies in gamma radiation, the lab was a bit of a war zone and with Natasha being a dance major, the risks to her person were rather high.

 

The fact that she was coming down there meant something serious had happened. Bucky felt conflicted on the one friend he hoped his friend was okay on the other hand he hoped it was something other than his personal shitstorm.

 

Of course it was about his personal shitstorm.

 

Nat arrived at the lab ten minutes later looking furious. Bucky had already cleaned up his station in anticipation of her arrival and was ready to go as soon as she stepped in the doors. Tony saw her before Bucky did however and was able to let out a long teasing ‘oooh you’re in trouble…’ before Natasha was able to sock him in the arm.

 

Bucky blanched upon seeing Nat’s rage face and immediately walked up to her.

 

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

 

“No,” she said curtly.

 

“What happened,” Bucky asked still feigning ignorance.

 

“You’ve been lying to me James,” she said softly, “for _months_. That’s what’s happened.”

 

“How did you find out,” Bucky asked.

 

“Does that really matter,” she countered.

 

“Yes,” he said.

 

“I went to your apartment last night and met a nice girl named Carol Danvers. She informed me that _she_ has been living in your apartment for the last two plus months after the previous owner was evicted for nonpayment.”

 

“I can explain,” Bucky said desperately.

 

Nat didn’t say anything. She just folded her slim arms across her chest and eyed him angrily. Bucky reached forward to rest his hand on her shoulder but she twitched out of his grip easily. Bucky swallowed heavily at the sight, hurt bubbling up hot and quick behind his breastbone.

 

“C’mon Natalia please,” he pleaded, “I am _so sorry._ Please let me explain.”

 

After a tense moment of silence she gave him a short nod.

 

“Fine,” she said, “Explain.”

 

Bucky nodded back gratefully.

 

“Not here,” he said.

 

Without another word Nat spun on her heel and walked back out of the room leaving Bucky to scamper after her. They walked back to her apartment in tense silence. Bucky kept offering apologies and Natasha refused to look at him. The door was barely shut behind Bucky’s back when she turned her scowl on him again.  

 

“Well,” she demanded, “Let’s hear it.”

 

Bucky took a deep breath and with tears in his eyes he told her everything. Her anger remained as he talked about his family’s turmoil; the divorce, the affair and now the financial struggles. Though the more he talked, the more he thought that maybe all of her anger wasn’t directed at him.

 

“So that day,” she said softly, “The breakdown. It _wasn’t_ over your breakup with Steve?”

 

“I never even _dated_ Steve,” Bucky said, “that was all a cover.”

 

“But _why_ James? Why lie to _me_?”

 

“I was ashamed okay,” Bucky said, “My family was falling apart, my  _life_ was falling apart _._ I was broke, scared and ashamed. I didn’t want you to pity me.”

 

“Why would I pity you,” she asked.

 

“Come on Nat,” Bucky said, “Your family-”

 

“No one’s family is perfect,” Nat interrupted, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Not ever. Not with me.”

 

It was the same thing she had told him after he'd lost his arm. It was her way of telling him she loved him. He should've known she'd be there for him. She'd always been his rock, the constant source of love and support in his life and he felt like shit for having doubted her. 

 

Bucky couldn’t take it anymore and lurched forward letting Natasha wrap him up in her arms.

 

They hugged for a few moments in the middle of Natasha’s living room. She pulled away first and if Bucky didn’t know her as well as he did he wouldn't be able to tell that she had been crying. But he did know her and the signs were all there. Her green eyes were slightly red and there was a sadness lingering in the corners of her trademark smirk.

 

“I’m still mad at you,” she said, her voice holding far less anger than before.

 

“I deserve it,” Bucky said.

 

“So,” she said visibly pushing away the emotions, “ You faked a relationship and lost your apartment. Where have you been sleeping?”

 

Bucky bit back a wince. The impulse to lie was there on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed past it. No more lies. Natasha was his oldest and best friend. She deserved better.

 

“At the library,” he admitted.

 

“Are you serious,” she asked, “James.”

 

“It’s fine,” Bucky said, “I was careful. Nobody ever saw me.”

 

“That’s trespassing,” she pointed out, “You could’ve been arrested.”

 

“But I wasn’t. No one knew. I was like a ghost story.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes and shook her head at him and his recklessness.

 

“Well that stops today,” she told him.

 

“Yeah I know,” Bucky agreed, “I finished my last shift there right before break. I’ve been lucky they haven’t called for my keycard back.”

 

“Lucky you aren’t up on charges or expelled,” Nat corrected, “From now on you’ll stay here with me.”

 

“Ew and listen to you and Clint’s nightly courting rituals? No thanks.”

 

“Clinton doesn’t stay the night,” Nat lied loftily, “Besides do you have a better idea?”

 

“Living in a van down by the river?”

 

“You’re an idiot. Where are your things,” she asked.

 

“Still at the library,” Bucky said, “I’ve kept it all in my employee locker or in the book storage.”

 

“We need to go get them,” she said moving towards the door.

 

“What right now?” Bucky asked.

 

“Yes,” Nat said, “Right now.”

 

Bucky resigned himself to doing as Natasha said especially since he was still carrying around an enormous ball of guilt for the way he’d lied to her lately.

 

As they made their way back outside and onto the street Bucky realized that as painful as it had been confessing to Nat he’d gotten off fairly light. She had glossed over the whole Steve thing and that was a blessing in itself.

 

“So how long have you been in love with Steve,” Nat asked pulling him from his thoughts.

 

Bucky tripped.

 

++++++

 

Steve stood outside the library trying to think of what to do.

 

Sam stood beside him eating a bag of Doritos and laughing.

 

Ever since he learned about Bucky’s string of ‘big, dumb, fat, lies and Steve’s ‘even bigger, dumb, fat, crush’ he’d been chuckling.  They were two enormous idiots who were perfect for each other as far as Sam was concerned. Now he just had to sit back and wait to see how long until they figured it out themselves.

 

Watching Steve fidget as he tried haphazardly to find Bucky had started of hysterical and now as Steve paced in front of the library it was just kinda sad. So Sam being the good bro he was decided to help.

 

“You have a cellphone,” Sam told him, licking the cheese dust from his fingertips.

 

“Yeah and?”

 

“Barnes has a phone,” Sam said slowly.

 

“Yeah Sam I know that. What’s your point,” Steve said annoyed.

 

“I don’t know Steve,” Sam said sarcastically, “Maybe you could, and this is just a wild suggestion I’m pulling out of my ass here but maybe you could try calling him?”

 

Steve stared at Sam for a moment the annoyed look draining slowly from his face only to be replaced by an embarrassed blush. Without a word he turned his back on his friend and pulled out his phone to try calling Bucky.

 

Sam shook his head and went back to chuckling.

 

++++++

 

“I’m not in love with him,” Bucky said catching up to his friend.

 

“Oh?” Natasha asked, “Then why were you canoodling with him last night at the student showcase?”

 

“I don’t canoodle.”

 

Nat smirked and turned her phone around flashing a picture of Bucky and Steve. They were both laughing. Bucky’s face was turned towards Steve’s and his expression revealed his crush on the other man so obviously that Bucky felt himself blushing all over again. Desperate to change the subject Bucky went on the offensive.

 

“You were there,” he asked pointedly.

 

“No of course not,” Nat scoffed, “I had rehearsal.”

 

“So you had one of your minions tailing me?”

 

She laughed delightedly and shook her head. Bucky had always teased her about her sneaky spy ways. They had a running joke that she was an operative for a shadow organization and she not so secretly loved it.

 

“No,” she admitted, “Clint and Scott were there. You know how Barton is, like a bloodhound for free food.”

 

“True,” Bucky agreed, “And that’s why you went to my house. To confront me about fooling around with an ex.”

 

“Exactly,” she said, “So did you?”

 

“What,” Bucky asked.

 

“Fool around with Steve. Clint said you went home with him.”

 

“I am going to kick birdbrain’s ass,” Bucky muttered.

 

“Be careful,” Nat warned, “He doesn’t miss.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes.

 

“No. I didn’t fool around with Steve. He just let me crash on his couch.”

 

“Hmm,” Nat said cryptically, “But you wanted to.”

 

“Sleep on a fold out couch?”

 

“Sleep _with him_ ,” she corrected.

 

Bucky cleared his throat and looked away his face burning. She laughed and punched his shoulder.

 

“So what your plan?” she asked him.

 

“My plan? To leave him alone.”

 

“Is that what he wants,” Nat asked.

 

“C’mon Nat of course it is. I mean he’s a really nice guy and he’s been really good about all this but I’m sure the last thing he’s thinking about is starting a relationship with the guy who’s been dragging his name through the mud these last few weeks.”

 

Bucky’s phone began to ring in his hoodie pocket cutting him off mid-rant.

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Nat said swiping Bucky’s phone before he could get to it, “I mean he’s calling you right now for what looks to be the third time in a row. Hardly something one does when one hates someone. ”

 

Bucky tried to snatch his phone back but Nat was limber and quick, managing to keep it out of his reaching hands while swiping to answer.

 

“James Barnes’ phone. This is Natasha speaking,” she said mock professionally.

 

“Oh. Uhh...Hi. Is Bucky there,” Steve asked, “This is Steve. Steve Rogers.”

 

“Hello Steve,” Nat practically purred, “I’m sorry. _Bucky_ is on his way to the library to pick up his things. Can I take a message?”

 

Bucky tried tickling Nat to get his phone back but aside from a few graceful wiggles and one adorable giggle like sound she resisted.

Then she kicked his shin.

HARD.

 

“Oh! No that’s okay,” Steve said brightly, “I’m at the library already looking for him. I can just wait and talk to him when he gets here. Thank you though.”

 

“My pleasure Steve,” Nat said grinning at Bucky like a shark, “See you soon.”

 

“I hate you,” Bucky said when she’d hung up.

 

“You don’t,” she argued, “Now hurry up. It’s rude to keep Prince Charming waiting.”

 

++++++++

 

Steve spotted Bucky walking towards them across the square. A curvaceous redhead at his side. Strangely his palms felt sweaty so he wiped them on his jeans.

 

“Stop that,” Sam said absently, “You’re just going to talk to him. Maybe ask him out for coffee. It’s not like you’re asking him to join you on the front lines or into the jaws of death. Relax.”

 

“ _I am_ relaxed,” Steve said, “I just didn’t think I’d have an audience for this. In fact you can go you know. Like anytime. How about right now? You leaving _right now_ would be _the best_.”

 

Sam laughed.

 

“Oh no. I’m not going anywhere,” Sam said grinning, “Captain Awkward is gonna need my help. There’s no better reason for me to hang in.”

 

Steve scowled and Sam clapped him on the shoulder then squeezed reassuringly.

 

++++++

 

Bucky and Steve stared at each other while also trying to ignore the feeling of their friends watching their every move.

 

“Heya Buck.”

 

“Hi Stevie.”

 

 _Stevie?_ Sam mouthed. _Buck_  Nat silently mouthed back. They mocked the two's obvious lovesick greetings to one another and then smothered laughs behind their hands.

 

Blushing furiously Steve ignored the peanut gallery and plowed on.

 

“So you’re here to get your stuff huh,” he asked, “I take it you came clean to your friends?”

 

“Uh yeah,” Bucky said, “And I know we’ve already hashed this out but I still feel like I should apologize about a million more times so..I’m sorry. “

 

“It’s okay Bucky,” Steve said, “Really. In fact I was kinda wondering and you’re totally free to say no but I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again with me sometime? Maybe get coffee or see a movie?”

 

Bucky grinned.

 

“Yeah? I mean yeah,” he said, “Definitely. I’d like that a lot.”

 

“Great,” Steve said, “Well, um, do you need help moving your stuff? Where are you gonna stay now? I mean, you don’t have to tell me that if you’re not comfortable. I was just thinking you know, if you haven’t found a place yet the foldout is still available.”

 

“Smooth Rogers. Real Smooth.” Sam muttered.

 

“Die in a fire,” Steve hissed over his shoulder at him.

 

Sam laughed.

 

“Well I was planning on staying at Natasha’s for a bit but having a bed, even a foldout does sound preferable to her heinous excuse for a couch. I swear that thing is trying to murder me.”

 

“It’s Russian. It was built for function and durability not your delicate disposition,” Nat said defensively.

 

“My statement stands,” Bucky said.

 

He turned back to Steve who looked positively adorable. His cheeks were pink making his blue eyes look even bluer and he was laughing that full body laugh that Bucky just loved.

 

“So yeah,” Bucky told him, “If you’re serious and if Sam doesn’t mind. I’d love to camp out on your couch. Just til I’m back on my own two feet.”

 

“It’s no problem,” Steve assured him, “Sam doesn’t mind a bit.”

 

“I don’t?”

 

“No because you’re moving in with your future husband in a few weeks leaving me without a roommate anyway,” Steve said.

 

“He told you,” Sam cried in surprise.

 

“No. You just did,” Steve said smiling, “Congrats man.”

 

“You sneaky shit,” Sam said hugging his friend, “Thanks. Now come on let’s go get Barnes’ shit.”

 

+++++

They were nearly done dragging in all of Bucky’s stuff when Steve went into his bedroom to get the spare linens. Bucky followed him in, surprising Steve just like he had last time he’d stayed the night. And just like that night Steve’s head filled with images of all the things he’d rather be doing with Bucky in his room besides grabbing blankets.

 

Bucky smiled as if he could read his mind.

 

“You know Stevie I was thinking,” Bucky said.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, “I mean there's a good chance that sleepy Steve is going to drag me in here anyway and it worked out so well last time that I was thinking maybe I could just bunk in here with you instead of out on the sofa.”

 

He stepped closer to the blonde until their chests brushed gently with every breath.

 

“I think I’d like that,” Steve said huskily, his eyes on Bucky’s mouth.

 

“Good, so would I,” Bucky admitted.

 

He brought his hands up to frame Steve’s face and the blond leaned in closing the distance between their mouths. The kiss was warm and sweet. Just slow drags of their lips until Steve pulled back slightly to breathe and Bucky began mouthing at his jawline.

 

“Maybe we should test it out,” Steve offered, “Get in the bed and make sure we both fit.”

 

“Good plan,” Bucky said sucking a mark onto Steve’s clavicle.

 

They began removing their clothes quickly, jeans and shirts hitting the floor in frantic whoomps as they stripped to the skin and fell into bed.

 

“Fuck you’re gorgeous,” Steve groaned, tugging on Bucky’s hair to get him to bare his throat.

 

“Barely register next to you sweetness. Hottest thing I’ve ever seen I swear,” Bucky said.

 

Steve rolled onto his back and tugged Bucky to spread out on top of him. It didn’t take long for them to begin rolling their groins against one another chasing the electric bliss building between them.

  


“For a semi homeless guy Barnes sure has a lot of shit,” Sam complained as he entered the apartment with yet another box, “Where is he anyway?”

 

Natasha looked up from where she was spreading a sheet across the foldout mattress.

 

“He went with Steve to find some spare blankets. I think they went in Steve’s room.”

 

“Aw, guys, no.” Clint said coming out of the bathroom.

 

“What,” Sam asked.

 

“What do you think,” Clint said, making the ASL sign for sex with his hands then pointing towards Steve’s closed door.

 

“Are you serious Rogers,” Sam yelled.

 

“Yes! He’s _hugely_ serious,” Bucky called back.

 

“Bucky shut up!” Steve cried embarrassed.

 

“TMI asshole!” Sam yelled.

 

“I don’t care! It’s the truth. Now kindly shut up so we can concentrate,” Bucky yelled.

 

“You know what,” Clint said, “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

 

“Mine too,” Sam agreed, “Let’s go get something to eat on Steve. I figure it’s the least they can do since we did all the work while they played grabass.”

 

He picked up his friend’s wallet and pulled out a couple twenties.

 

“Wait for me,” Nat said grabbing her purse, “What those two idiots do in the bedroom is their business.”

 

Bucky listened to their friends leave then smiled down at the sexy man beneath him who was currently nibbling on Bucky’s pecs and moaning hotly.

 

“Now where were we?”

 

Fin.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!  
> Comments and Kudos make my day!  
> You can find me on tumblr (lesserknownhero)

**Author's Note:**

> More to come soon!  
> If you spotted any errors please let me know so I can fix.  
> Thank you so much for reading. You all inspire me to keep writing and I really appreciate it.  
> Find me on tumblr (lesserknownhero)


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